Coyote Too

@badbadgirlx recently posted a sexting story in response to @CelticFrog's latest MicroFantasy Monday Phrase. A lot of her blog followers are used to more vanilla posts, and someone got a little freaked at her use of "Daddy" and "little girl" in the story. Not really surprising.

I commented on it on her blog, but I wanted to carry that over here, because my (admittedly very hurried) Google search didn't turn up anything more definitive, and I'd like to see if anyone had any pointers to good (preferably short and to the point) articles that cover these sorts of issues when they come up.

In the meantime, here was my take on it, as posted in her comments section.

@Daddy: Daddy/little girl is not about incest, or often even about "age play". It's usually more about the the emotions those words elicit in a relationship. The couple may be trying to invoke the helplessness/trust/misbehavior of a "little girl" and the power/protection/correction of a "Daddy". Those are the words we use in our language when a father and daughter are being very personal, and as a result, they carry a lot of emotional weight.

Before you completely dismiss that as twisted, consider the use of "Father" refer to a priest—okay, perhaps not the best of examples nowadays :(—and "baby" to refer to a girlfriend. Slightly different words, but the intent is the same—to impart a particular set of emotions and feelings. You aren't the only person to have issues with them, but they are powerful words which don't have any good "unloaded" equivalents. In this particular piece that @badbadgirlx wrote, that meaning isn't as clear, because the scene doesn't actually show any of the care aspects that might come with a Daddy/little girl relationship, although it does allude to the role of the "Daddy" as a corrector of bad behavior.

I did a quick search to see if I could find a better discussion of this—I'm sure there must be one, but all I found was another blog post on the topic, but the comments there cover it well. Check them out at http://xpygarx.blogspot.com/2009/06/age-play.html

P.S. I should note that depending on someone's history, certain types of fantasy play like this can be totally off-bounds. I once made the mistake of holding down the hands (during otherwise vanilla sex) of a partner, only to have her freak because she had (unbeknownst to me) been raped a few years earlier. Other people may find scenes cathartic, in that they recreate past trauma in a space where they actually can control the outcome. (That's not a solution I would take on lightly, and it's certainly no substitute for counseling; I'm simply mentioning it because I know that some people do feel that way.) 

What it comes down to (as your reaction quite reasonably shows), is that different people may have very different reactions to some words and scenes. D/s is not just fantasy sex, it's extremely emotionally charged sex, which is why people in the space insist so much on the importance of up-front (and in-scene) communication. In fact, that communication is probably even more important in sexting scenarios like this one, since there is so little feedback from the partner.

Anything anyone would add/subtract/comment/augment this with?